NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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