The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
