WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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