he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
