Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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