Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
