Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
