Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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