So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
