Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
