you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
