well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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