i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
