I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
