why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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