Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
