KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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