its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
