the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
