and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
