So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
