Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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