Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
