I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
