dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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