OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
