Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
