so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
