I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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