Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Enjoy the penises
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
