She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
two words: eviction party
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
