I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
