All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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