i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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