so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize