she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
