Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
