If i come over, it means nothing
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
