i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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