I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
