Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
