You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
