honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
