i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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