I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
