you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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