belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
