I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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