I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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