everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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