You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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