Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
