That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
