i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
