I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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